I can’t think of any other way to solve loneliness epidemic besides completely remodel civilization? According to my calculations we need something external that binds us to shared investment - like stewarding the same land or having a shared project that cuts deep enough into the way we live and meet our basic needs
You’re making me realize I didn’t express this as clearly as I could have: I think the solution is for each of us, individually, to begin to cultivate self love.
Once we begin to love ourselves and give ourselves the nourishment that ought to have been our birthright but that was denied by our highly separated society, we will begin to believe we belong no matter where we are and what energy we’re bringing.
That felt sense of innate belonging will undoubtedly be contagious.
And when we all belong together, the loneliness will ebb naturally. Systems and infrastructure will crumble before the force of our collective self-love.
I’d like to hear you flesh out what self love looks like and how we might do it. The idea of us all learning to belong as individuals which leads to collective belonging sounds nice in theory but also kinda feels like pipe dream. Belonging implies togetherness between multiple individuals, our nervous systems are hardwired for co-regulation. For us to find belonging without other humans or even other life forms seems like it might go against our innate code and could be mal adaptive if we found satisfaction alone and no longer had desire to be in community. I agree self love and being able to source wholeness from within is important but the nature of nature is interdependence and I think we do need to be proactive about building community and seeking to understand then curate the conditions which can foster and conduce radical interbeing in a more sustainable long term structure than just festival retreat etc
Very true. If it wasn’t for the internet, I think I could go whole days or weeks without talking to anyone but my wife and daughter (and damn I’m lucky to even have them!!)
Thank you for this piece. I’ve noticed similar patterns when hanging out with others myself. What a funny feedback loop. So you aren’t alone and I hope you don’t “shut up,” because what you share feels very real to me!
I can’t think of any other way to solve loneliness epidemic besides completely remodel civilization? According to my calculations we need something external that binds us to shared investment - like stewarding the same land or having a shared project that cuts deep enough into the way we live and meet our basic needs
You’re making me realize I didn’t express this as clearly as I could have: I think the solution is for each of us, individually, to begin to cultivate self love.
Once we begin to love ourselves and give ourselves the nourishment that ought to have been our birthright but that was denied by our highly separated society, we will begin to believe we belong no matter where we are and what energy we’re bringing.
That felt sense of innate belonging will undoubtedly be contagious.
And when we all belong together, the loneliness will ebb naturally. Systems and infrastructure will crumble before the force of our collective self-love.
That’s the dream anyway.
I’d like to hear you flesh out what self love looks like and how we might do it. The idea of us all learning to belong as individuals which leads to collective belonging sounds nice in theory but also kinda feels like pipe dream. Belonging implies togetherness between multiple individuals, our nervous systems are hardwired for co-regulation. For us to find belonging without other humans or even other life forms seems like it might go against our innate code and could be mal adaptive if we found satisfaction alone and no longer had desire to be in community. I agree self love and being able to source wholeness from within is important but the nature of nature is interdependence and I think we do need to be proactive about building community and seeking to understand then curate the conditions which can foster and conduce radical interbeing in a more sustainable long term structure than just festival retreat etc
It is lonely. The loneliness is chronic.
Very true. If it wasn’t for the internet, I think I could go whole days or weeks without talking to anyone but my wife and daughter (and damn I’m lucky to even have them!!)
I wrote about that the other day. Social media saved my life.
Thank you for this piece. I’ve noticed similar patterns when hanging out with others myself. What a funny feedback loop. So you aren’t alone and I hope you don’t “shut up,” because what you share feels very real to me!
Haha thanks! I couldn’t resist ending with an ironic reversal of my own prescription for solving the issue 😅